It’s really hard to put 2025 into words. This was simultaneously — somehow — one of the best and the worst years of my life.

And while it was not a non-stop battle on all fronts, it definitely felt like it way too many times.

What a rollercoaster of a year – I started new friendships, renewed old ones, and even semi-buried established ones.

I was loved, and I loved, and I was lost, and I was heartbroken.

Work was occasionally great, and I still hated going to the office at least a handful of times.

I found new hobbies, and left behind old ones. I didn’t write nearly as much as I wanted to (and I barely forgave myself about it.) I didn’t even cook as much as I wanted to(heh). I simply let myself not human sometimes. And in the same time, I took much better care of myself, and my inner peace than I expected.

I made some great decisions and I made some grave mistakes. I did my best to not let regret consume me. Every now and then I even managed.

I keep not finding the right words, nor the right structure to explain the plethora of things that still tug me in one direction or another. And for this reason, if not for others, I will simply not try.

Being self-aware is exhausting. Facing your humanity is exhausting. Growth is exhausting. But I am who I am, and to have done differently I should have been a different person. I am who I am, and this makes me whatever it makes me. 

Leaving 2025 behind is a good thing, actually.

On the more mundane side of things: I traveled, I went to a few great concerts(Linkin Park, Damiano David, Eva Quartet, Ella Henderson & One Republic), I found some great new artists, and I read a shitton(the official stats say 80 books, which means — adding the fanfics and essays I’ve engulfed — we have somewhat double the volume). If anyone asks, I might blog about it. If not, I will not.

Zmey

24/12/2025